“OMG will this god forsaken day ever be over? I mean damn”. Is all I could think as I sat at my desk willing the time to speed up so I can go home and do nothing? “God I long to do nothing,” I said to myself. It was 2 o’clock on a Monday, I hate Mondays. It’s like everything crazy that can happen will happen on a Monday. Patients are crazy that’s a given, co-workers are psychos, but hey I’m use to it… you would think. I’m usually kind of upbeat, not when it comes to patients that is, that’s why I went into billing and coding and not something like nursing. They have to deal with people hands-on all the time. Not my cup of tea, not at all. Let me deal with them hands-off, like way, way off. But lately I feel like I’m in a rut, everyday blends in to the next…UGGG fuck my life. I feel like I tell myself this every day.
“Hey want to go out this Friday?” asked Heidi. Heidi’s a psycho, a big one at that, but I love her to death even though she drives me nuts most times.
“Not really but what did you have in mind?” I asked.
“The award show is being filmed here and I know someone that can get us in,” she informed me.
Not really my joush but why not. My life’s predictable as of late, all the days kind of just run together now. So I said “I’ll think about it.”
The rest of the week was the same, patients came in and out, co-workers pissed me off, and you know the usual. Am I really thinking about going with her, I mean I love Heidi but she’s a little bit of a wild child and I’m not sure I can keep up? As I stated before my life is pretty predictable; in other terms boring as hell.
So it’s Friday and against my better judgment I agreed to go with her, hell I don’t get to dress up that much ever since I got married. Oh did I forget to mention that, yeap married to a man I’ve known since high school. We’ve had our ups and downs but as of late (the past 5 years) it’s been mostly down. Now I find myself thinking that maybe we’ve run our course. I mean everything that has a beginning has an ending; I’m wondering if we’ve reached our end and we’re just holding on to something that’s no longer there. All of this is running through my head as I get dressed as he walks past like he could care less.
It’s 5:45pm and Heidi said she would be her at 5:00pm and in Heidi’s world that means 6:45pm. As I’m putting my shoes on she blows, I tell Shawn I’ll see him later he waves a hand and I’m out the door.
“Hey you look amazing,” I tell Heidi as I get in the car; she’s still fixing her makeup.
“Hurry up we’re going to be late,” Heidi says, I give her a look.
“I’ve been ready you just got here,” she gives me a smile and we’re off. I finally asked how’d did she get the hook up for this. She just went off on one of her many stories. I didn’t really get all of it but something she said made me stop her in mid sentence.
“Seat filler?” I ask.
“What the hell Heidi? You said we were going out, you said jack shit about this being a job.” she went on and explained that this guy she met at some club owned a company that went to all types of events and provided seat fillers. I sat quiet, because in all actuality she had a point. We would never get to go to an award show any other way and besides we get paid for it. It’s not a lot but Hell, free alcohol, a small coin and the chance to meet celebrities that we otherwise would never get the opportunity to meet any other time.
“What the hell, I’m already dressed.”
We made our way to the venue, her asking me about Shawn and me explaining the latest dumb shit he’s pulled, her telling me to just cut my loses - end it and move on. I thought about, I didn’t tell her that because the truth was I probably thought about it more than a happily married woman should, but that’s the thing. I’m not happy.
We arrived and it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, the light the cameras all the people. Now I don’t consider myself a people’s person by any stretch of the imagination. So this was a big shock to my system. I mean, I avoid crowds like the plague. But here I was in one of the biggest crowds I’ve ever been in, people rushing back and forth, screaming. Heidi’s in her element tall and gorgeous and me thick would be a real understatement I prefer curvy - like really, really curvy. I’m just standing there looking like a deer in headlights.
We sign in, give all our information so that we can receive payment at the end, (which is the only bright spot of the night thus far), but hey I told Heidi that I would do this so here we go. They send us to different seats throughout the night, it’s really not that bad (I’ll never admit that) but hey it’s ok. We pass each other going in different directions, I’m sent to the front towards the stage and that scares the crap out of me. There are two seats where they sent me, so I’m expecting another seat filler to come so I set down as the show started up. A few minutes after the show had started again out the corner of my eye I see a figure standing next to me and I swear the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life is standing there. For a minute I just stare, I mean well damn. I’m staring and he smiles and my breathe catches. He smiles; damn that smile if they had him on the Titanic that iceberg would have never stood a chance. Because I swear that smile could melt anything.
“I believe that’s my seat,” he said in a voice that made me shudder. I hope like hell he didn’t see that. Shit I’m still staring, I smile - more like blush - and move to get up and go to the back. But before I could he stopped me.
“The seat next to me is empty,” he said, I just stared again trying to process what he was saying. God why did he have to smile again - is he smiling at me? Shit he just asked me something. What was it he asked me - something about a vacant seat?
“Oh thank you, but I have to check in with the coordinator, I can’t just take any seat sorry,” with a small smile I walked away.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’ve never had that reaction with anybody before ever, it’s like my brain stopped working and my common sense with a long with it. I mean damn my palms are sweating, I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. Fucking butterflies can you believe that? I haven’t have that funny feeling where your stomach thinks it’s on a roller coaster since the last time I was on a freaking roller coaster 8 years ago. Fuck, I need to find Heidi. As I walked back I found Sam the coordinator. I was about to ask where I could find Heidi but he sent me back to the seat next to the melting pot. Yes, that’s what I’m calling him because I didn’t get his name. I get ready to protest because at this point I don’t trust my damn resolve to be around someone so charismatic with the right splash of darkness but in a good way. But Sam grabs my shoulders turns me back in the direction I just fled from. Shit. Walking back as slow as I possibly could without drawing attention to myself trying to find a way to contain my reactions to him, I approached the isle he’s on, he looks up with this look on his face not pissed but definitely annoyed. I almost turned around right then but as soon as he looked up and saw it was me again he smiled.
“You’re back,” he said with a breath-taking smile as he stood to let me in. I gave a small smile back, which was more of a blush, as scoot pass him brushing my back to his front , I had to sit down quickly before my legs gave out.
We sat in silence until the award show went to break, once the emcee advised that the show would be back from commercial in 12 minutes. He got up and left, and all I could think was thank God I could use this time to compose myself because damn he smelled good. I should have gotten his name. Part of me wished I had the nerve to talk to him to at least introduce myself but who was I kidding, someone like him would never be truly interested in a nobody like me. He’s probably some big shot from LA just here for the awards with a wife and kids at home. “Why the hell am I stressing over this (I’M MARRIED)?” I mentally chastise myself.
A few minutes later he returns with two drinks and hands one to me. For what feels like forever he’s just standing there holding a drink out it takes me a moment to stop eye fucking him long enough to realize that he’s offering the drink to me with that damn smile. I take the cup from his hands and our fingers touch, his hand lightly grazes my wrist and oh fuck I think I’d just come. With as much composer as I could mustard I give him a small smile.
“Thank you,” I say as I take the drink with a small smile that’s more of a blush. If I were lighter you’d think I was a stop sign. I don’t drink it immediately, I just hold it. Thinking why this sexy-ass sin man just brought me a drink, in my head I’m doing back flips. It feels good to have a man think about you even if it’s just something small but he thought about me. I didn’t even realize that he’s staring at me. He’s just staring at me stare at my drink.
“I didn’t drug it or poison it, if that’s what you’re thinking,” He says; I tilt my head and for a minute I just regard him for a while wondering where in the H E double hockey sticks did that come from? Why would he even think that I would think something like that? OK if he would have giving me about 30 more seconds I’m sure that thought would have crossed my mind after the shock of him wore off. And as if he could read my thoughts he says:
“Because you’re just holding and staring at the drink, most people would have killed it by now.” I finally find my voice I shake my head to clear the impure thoughts that have taken up residence in my head and say, “Good to know, what’s in it?” “Vodka and some type of mix, I hope you’re not allergic to anything.” He asks with an incredibly concern look on his face. I shake my head and take a sip. It’s delicious. I smile and take another sip. Sipping is all you can really do because it’s really strong. The show starts up again and I’m mentally praying that no one comes for this seat which means I can stay for the rest of the awards show next to Mr. I’m too sexy for my own damn good. Every now and then I catch him looking at me, and I can’t help but wonder why. I mean there are hundreds of women here that are far more beautiful than me, and why does he look so damn familiar? He’s staring at me again. I look at him and he just smiles.
“I’m Liam by the way,” he says and reaches to shake my hand. I put my hand in his hand and say: “Tessa, nice to meet you, and thanks again for the drink.” He takes my hand kisses my knuckles. I promise you a fire ran from my head to places I’m not ready to admit to. He held my had for a lot longer than he needed to, just rubbing his thumb back and forth over the spot he just kissed, making sure the fire spread, all while staring into my eyes. And all I can think is, “What the hell was happening here, and why did I not seem to mind?” I broke eye contact first, cleared my throat. He smiled, let my hand go, and we both took a drink and watched Beyonce perform “dance for you”. God could she have done another song, one that doesn’t remind me of sex right now while I’m sitting next to the melting pot, I mean Liam. Damn even his name is sexy, I just smile to myself. He’s looking at me again, he’s not even trying to hide it, I can’t look …..This is wrong …….I’m married. With a sigh the smile disappears because damn I’m married.
It’s another break - this one is for 15 minutes. I know I need to go back, find Sam, and see if he needs me to cover another seat. Besides I think it’s time for me to leave Liam alone, with all the thoughts running through my head - if I stay I know I’m going to Hell on a full scholarship, and if he keeps looking at me like that I’ll be wearing a gasoline bathing suit. I looked at Liam; he’s looking at something on his phone. I turn around to see if I can spot Heidi, I don’t see her anywhere but I see Sam. I go to stand, but he just gives me a look and tells me to sit back down. I look down at Liam as he looks up from his phone.
“Do you need to leave“? He asks. ”Do I need to leave?” the little voice in the back of my head - the voice that’s trying to keep us from going to Hell says yes, yes we need to leave before you drive us around the corner to meet Satan himself, because someone this fine can only be trouble. “I … I don’t know, I see my boss but he just gave me a look and told me to sit. But I think I should go make sure I’m still in the right spot and make sure my friend is ok,” the smile on Liam’s face falls just a little as I tell him I should go. “I’m sure she’s fine and your boss told you to sit back down, right?”
“So maybe you should stay put, unless……..” he trails off.
“Unless you’re really just trying to get away from me,” he says this with an eyebrow arched. I take a deep breath because that’s all I can do not to shudder again. I mean, with the way he’s looking at me, it’s like he can read my mind. He starts asking me questions like he really wants to get to know me and he’s answering every question that I answer as well, so there’s a lot of information going back and forth right now. So much so for a second I think I’ve known this man my entire life. The awards show has started again and he’s still talking to me like he could give a shit who’s around.
After some time I found out that he’s an actor - I knew he looked familiar; he was in that movie I like that I saw earlier this year one night I was trying to make Heidi feel better after her fling with the doctor ended. But I can’t for the life of me remember the name of the movie so I don’t want to bring up the fact that I’ve actually seen one of his films but I can’t for the life of me remember the damn name of it. Anyway, he’s nominated for an award tonight. Wow I’m sitting next to a star, a star had brought me a drink…little old me, I smiled to myself.
“So if I win are you going to go on stage with me?” What in Sam hell did he just say he has to be kidding right? I study his face then answer.
“Why not, it would really mean a lot to me.”
“Why would you want me to go up there with you? You don’t even know me.”
“I know enough, I feel like you could be my good luck charm, and if I win then that just proves it so I want you to go up with me.”
“First I don’t think you know me as well as you think, because if you did you would know that I hate being the center of attention, I’m married and a klutz.”
“Ahh, I do know that you’re married. I saw the ring when I first walked up,” and as he said this my eyes went wide - what the hell is going on here?
“Ok who put you up to this, my husband to see if I would cheat on him? Heidi because she knows I’m not happy and wants me to cheat, as she put it (get out there an eye for an eye)?” I’m getting really pissed now. I don’t like being fucked with; he raised both hands in mock surrender. “I’ve never met your husband but I would like to because it looks like he’s really doing a number on you, and as for Heidi I’ve never met her either.” He says looking deadpan, ok enough of this shit what the flying fuck is really happening here so it’s time to be blunt.
“So why are you blatantly flirting with a happily married woman, and don’t say that you’re not because as I stated you’re pretty bold with it.” I asked him.
“Well first I am blatantly flirting with a married woman, you got me there but I would never flirt with a happily married woman. The thing is that I don’t think you’re happy, at least not anymore” I tried to hide my smile; I just looked away. “And second you’re beautiful - why wouldn’t I flirt with you?” There’s millions upon millions of women of beautiful exotic women out there hell he’s sitting behind and across from several right this moment, now I really think this is some kind of act and before I could stop myself the words fly out of my mouth .
"Okay, what the fuck is really going on, I mean you can't be serious." He laughed, he really just laughed in my face. I don't have to take this, I mean yeah he's fine he's really fine; he has to be at least 6 feet tall, swole up in the chest, dimples in his cheeks, nice low cut with the nicest smile and the dirties eyes I’ve seen in a while. His eyes the way he looks at you says so much and right now he eyes are telling me to get naked and I want to so fucking bad. God this man right here knows he can hang a suit. But still with all of that who the fuck does he think he is? I remember that I’m at work and if I just get up and leave, he looks like the type that'll make a seen which will get me on TV most likely which I don't need, or he'll tell Sam and I’ll be asked to leave and I really don't want to plus I have no idea where to find Heidi. So I look him dead in the eye and say "Will you excuse me please I need to use the facilities." He asked “Are you coming back?" He had this somewhat hurt look on his face it was only there for a moment, but it was definitely there. I don't know why but that took the sting out of what just happened. It didn't take it away completely but I wasn't as pissed and for that reason I answered honestly. “I don't know, maybe.” He took a deep breath, ran his hands across his face. "Look if you're leaving because of me, don't. I wasn't trying to make fun of you and I see how it could have come across that way, I was just trying to say that yes I knew that you were married. I saw the ring when you where standing out front. I was standing maybe 2 feet away from you and I heard you and your friend talking." Oh god I’m frantically racking my brain to see if I saw him so I would know which part of that conversation he heard. Because no offense, Heidi is, well, Heidi and she said A LOT of shit. I mean it was rough, everything she said was true but with Heidi you have to understand people say I sometimes have no filter if that’s the case, she was never born with one. She tells it how she sees it and if you don't like it that's on you, you never should have asked but most of the time I think damn it I never asked your opinion. I can’t come up with anything so I just ask, "What part of that conversation did you hear?" He looked at the stage and then back at me and said, "All of it." "I was right next to you guys waiting to walk the red carpet, so I pretty much heard it all. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but the way your friend was talking and the look on your face. I could see the look on your face and tell that you really didn't want to be having that conversation, if not at all at least not in the middle of a crowd of people." God his voice is like silk, he has this whole dark and mysterious thing going on, maybe with a hint of dangerousness. "I listen to the way you talked, I saw the smile on your face, and I knew I just had to meet you." Wow, wow why on God’s green earth would this Greek Adonis want to meet me....me? I just sat there dumb founded. I even think my mouth was open a little. He took my hand looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't go, and I’m really enjoying your company." Now how in the hell do you walk away from that? I smiled a little and said, "Ok.".
"So you're going up there with me if I win, right?"
"No, I said I would stay, I never said that I was going anywhere with you, let alone on stage."
"You never said you wouldn’t.”
He spent the next 30 minutes trying to convince me to go up on stage with him if he wins. I just had to find out where his train of thought was, at first I thought he was joking but as he kept trying to convince me…why was this so important to him?
“Why do you want me to go up there so bad?”
“Well it’s simple,” he said, I’m pretty sure this whole situation is not simple. So I sat waiting for him to elaborate.
“I feel that you’re my good luck charm like I said before and if I win then what I feel is true and for that reason I want you to be on stage with me.” He said this as if it was the most logical thing in the world. I shook my head and decided to play along, I mean it’s not like I’m going to see him again. Beside how often can you say you had a conversation with a hot actor?
“So what happens if you don’t win, doesn’t that mean you can’t trust your feelings?” I asked, not even looking his way. He sat there for a minute and thought about it, wow he really thought about it. Is this guy serious right now, I mean really.
“Not really,” he says. “I don’t always know what my feelings mean - you know there’s not an exact science to a gut feeling. Maybe it doesn’t mean that you’re my good luck charm but I do still have a gut feeling about you and I intend on finding out what it means.” He said this with so much conviction that I was in a shocked silence. Now what do I say? I don’t know how to combat that. When he says it like that, like it’s an actual fact, it does sound logical but the idea of me going on stage with him is insane as hell. So I simply say, “I won’t discount your gut feelings but I don‘t know your gut so I’m going to go with mine and stay sitting. And FYI if you win it had nothing to do with me.” He looked at me with a raised eyebrow; damn that’s a sexy look. Married, remember you’re married.
“Ok let’s here you reasoning,” he says with a smug smile.
“Well, if you win tonight that vote was made weeks ago - maybe even months ago, you hadn’t met me yet so that proves that I’m not your good luck charm at least not tonight,” after I had said all of this he looked thoughtful then he flashed me a extremely smug smile.
“Nothing, although you have a great point, you just admitted that you may be my good luck charm.”
“I did no such thing.”
“Yes, yes you did you said you were not my good luck charm at least not for this,” that smug smile is growing wild now. But damn it he was right, way to put my foot in my mouth. He had me and he knew it and that made my fight a moot point.
“But I’m still not going up there with you, there’s nothing you can do to make me,” I said; I felt good about standing firm. But he still has that smug smile on his face. As sexy as that smile is I can’t help but to want to slap it off his face. Finally he clears his throat and says, “Ok let’s make a deal.” What could he possibly offer me that would make me want to risk everything, and I do mean everything, and go up on stage with him if he wins? Ok I know what he can offer me but I’m married so that can never ever happen. Can it? No I’m losing it; I’m becoming just as insane as him. God what is wrong with me for even considering this, I mean really. But even knowing how crazy this whole thing is, I’m still intrigued so I ask, “What’s the offer?”
“I’ll give you back these if you go up there with me if I win.” In his hand I see my wedding rings. Holy hell, I look from his hand to my hand with a look of shock and horror on my face that says what the fuck man. How in the fuck did he get those? When did he get those? This is so bad ….shit, shit, shit, shit. He’s staring at me with that damn smug smile; it’s so hot though I can imagine him on top of me with that exact look on his face like he wants to devour me. I shake my head no, I can’t be thinking like this, and at that point I feel my core tighten, God help me.
“When did you take them off me?” I asked.
“Not the only thing I want to take off you but considering where we are I don’t think that would be a good idea.” As he says this I can feel my mouth hanging open only slightly but it’s open. “Besides I don’t like to share,” he continues and tapes my chin then winks, he doesn’t like to share what the hell is that about, share what? Share me? This is definitely insane, and before I can stop myself it’s out my mouth. “But I’m married.” He just shakes his head, smiles that damn smug smile that’s making my inside feel like molting lava. I thank God that I’m wearing black because I’m pretty sure there would be a wet spot visible if I wasn’t, damn he smells good. He’s watching me very closely not like he’s trying to choose his words. Its cute watching him not look so smug but a little vulnerable. I smile to myself and I guess he takes that as a good sign because he simply says:
“Yes, yes that’s right you are married.” And with a wink he says, “But not for long.” He takes my hand and pulls me up next thing I know he’s leading me up stairs now, shit we’re going on stage.
I don’t immediately start freaking out until the lights are blinding me. I didn’t even hear the category or his name it’s like the world disappeared during or conversation. Now I realize what I thought was him thinking was him listening and what I thought was a smug smile for me was for everyone else because he’d won. Oh My God he didn’t, I’m not…shit. I can’t just turn and run we only have 2 steps to go, at least I haven’t fallen on my face so there’s a plus but still damn this is being televised. Added bonus he’s practically carrying me because I’m still in shock. Shit what if Shawn see’s me up here with this incredibly sexy man? How in the hell do I explain this? I guess I could just tell the truth - that he grabbed me and pulled me up here after I kept telling him no. Then he’s going to ask why this man felt so comfortable just grabbing you. Shit there’s no way out of this - we’re up here now and he still hasn’t let go of my hand, shit. I’m silently praying that he lets go of me. I try to slowly pull my hand out of his but he just tightens his grip. So I try again, thinking if I can get my hand out I can somehow slide behind him, at least my face will be covered although you’ll still be able to see my ass…shit, shit, shit, shit. I try to get my hand free again almost got it and just as it’s about to come out he stops talking, grips my hand tighter, and pulls me to him. Damn now I’m standing next to him, front and center, and he has his arm around me again, fuck. “And I would like to thank this beautiful, smart, talented, woman standing next to me; she’s my good luck charm.” As the words are coming out of his mouth I have no idea what to do and or say I smile correction blush and I think I’m going to black out, he must feel me going limp because he’s holding me tighter now and I must say I like the way his arm feels around me, the warmth of his body, the feel of the vibration of his deep baritone - smooth as a well aged cognac - voice running through my body right now. I think my body’s reaction to him is the only thing keeping me up right at this moment. He continues talking but I can no longer make out the words he’s saying any more, all I can hear is the sound of the blood rushing through my body and the rapid beating of my heart. I have to get away from this man, before he’s right and I am no longer married. I don’t seem to be able to think properly around him especially being so close to him. I find myself thinking if that would be such a bad thing, not being married anymore not having to think anymore. That thought just brings more questions like why now, is it Liam or just the prospect of Liam? Ok look Shawn and I have been through a lot and I’d be lying to myself if I said I’ve never thought about walking away before now. My husband has put me through so much. He’s cheated so many times on me that I stopped being shocked when I found out. I don’t even bring it up anymore, it doesn’t hurt anymore. And I guess I’m trying to figure out why it doesn’t hurt anymore, I’ll have to think about that some more but not now while I’m on stage with a sexy stranger holding me close, and it feels good. He just referenced me again, what did he just say - damn it I need to focus more on his words less on his body but his body feels so good, all sharp lines and hard muscles. Tessa focus he’s talking about you again now he’s looking at you now he’s kissing your cheek, fuck what did he just say? Well you can’t ask him so smile, OMG did he just sniff you, God he did and a shiver ran down my spine. He thanks everyone and we’re turning to walk back stage he still has his hand placed on the small of my back now. If there’s a God please have this man stop touching me, because every time he does I feel this electric shock. It doesn’t hurt but it lights a fire in me, it’s like a direct current to my core and it feels good.